First day back at my desk

It started off well enough - I started editing the second half of a manuscript, and dealt with some emails. Then disaster struck. I switched off my PC so my cleaner could do my office - on rebooting, my keyboard refused to work and my mouse froze. Panicked, I rang my beloved P for urgent advice. Nothing worked and in the end I was forced to borrow his keyboard - it's old and it sticks so typing is a slow nightmare. Hopefully, we'll be able to sort out my own keyboard tonight. Then my printer went on the blink - I'd just typed up a few invoices but the printer would only spit blank paper at me. I sent the bills by PDF in the end, but I still need paper copies for my accounts.

That was my next task. The tax year has ended and I need to close my books. I spent an hour ploughing through bank statements to see who's paid me. It's mostly up to date. I just need to fill in the rest of my expenses then I can close the books and call my accountant.

I've received another request for help from the ignorant paper editor. I decided to let them sweat - I haven't replied yet as I'm still mulling over the best way to approach this diplomatically but firmly. I really do not want to be bothered by these stupid questions, they eat into my time and it's not my job to sort out this person's problems.

All suggestions on a postcard gratefully received...