Hee. I had a reply from my illiterate wannabe last night.
"I just want to be able to submit my work to you and you can do the rest in terms of publishing it for me.."
Er, excuse me? Do I look like a publishing house? Is my middle name Penguin, perchance? Not when I last checked.
Wearily, I mailed back again, explaining that I'm not a publisher and can't publish his book for him, or distribute it, but if required I'd edit it and provide consultancy. For a fee.
The ensuing silence has been blissful, allowing me to get on with proper work.